Wednesday, June 30, 2010

I Give Up.

You know when you get to that point when you know God is doing something big and yet you aren’t sure if you want to go along with Him? I know He is good. I know His way is right. At this moment I know I need to be running into His arms. I can feel His hands on my arms, gently pulling me into Him and yet instead of relaxing into His embrace, my arms are stiff and I’m kind of pulling away but not truly trying to push Him away. Lord, pull me into your arms. Allow Your Will to become mine. There is a difference between knowing and believing. There is a difference between knowing and trusting. I want to believe. I want to trust. It is always hard when things come to an end. There is no point in thinking about all the things you wish you would have done or said. I have learned so much from looking back at the past. I have been able to use it to relate to others, connect with others. It is also important not to be consumed by it. God, you know best, you’ve got this under control. We all like to be in control and yet at this point I feel like God, I have no other option other than to give everything up to you. I don’t know if I have ever truly felt like this before. It’s a beautiful struggle, if I can use the words “beautiful” and “struggle” next to each other in a sentence. It is amazing how putting things into words can help you come to terms and even begin to feel peace. Open my eyes to see You more clearly and soften my heart to feel Your presence. Lord, you are good. I give up, I give this up to You.

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